Emotions are really energy that travels through the body in the shape of happiness, sadness, anger, and anxiety/fear. Happiness is a recognition or assumption of a physical or emotional gain. Sadness comes from the perception that something valued will or has been lost. Anger stems from the recognition of violation, injustice or frustration towards something we want. Anxiety/Fear is the awareness of a particular threat or danger that might be too difficult to face. Emotions are reactions to something perceived outside of us, which is then interpreted in the mind as bad or good. Although, all people experience these four types of emotions many times throughout their life, there is a tendency for people to react to a particular incident or situation differently. Interpretation is subjective according to the viewer.

Emotions are only supposed to be experienced in the body for a minute or two, before they are supposed to be released. People, including myself, tend to suppress and put the emotions/feelings aside to deal with them at a later date, but what ends up happening is this energy gets lodged somewhere in the body. These emotions will resurface every now and then, even during times that are least expected, until this energy is dealt with. Emotions can go back as far as when you were just a fetus in your moms womb. If the mother was happy and had minimal stress, the baby is happy, but if the mother is constantly stressed and not dealing with deep, suppressed emotions, the baby will be unhappy. Through generations of studies, what ends up happening is individuals use food, alcohol, cigarettes, shopping, television and other media to avoid or distract themselves from dealing with painful emotions. Even positive outlets, like exercise, healthy food, education and meditation can be addictive if used to avoid such feelings. An addiction can be anything people do to avoid feeling emotions.

Growing up, adults sometimes would use phrases like, “Oh, you did not hurt yourself that bad, just walk it off” or “Why are you crying, it’s not that big of a deal”. As a child, certain emotions and feelings become categorized as desirable and undesirable. So it is not surprising when habits surround grasping pleasant and happy feelings and resisting unpleasant or sad feelings. Realizing that every emotion is meant to be felt and should not be categorized as “good” or “bad”, but a normal body response to a situation or event. Studies and scientists have discovered that an intense feeling related to something going on in the present, can cause certain areas in the brain to fire related to specific memories from the past. That feelings being experienced in the present moment, can stem from past hurt or difficulties never actually dealt with. The individual can be subconsciously reliving past episodes linked to specific emotions. It is important to take the time to get out of the mind and become present with the body, by going inward, and feeling out every sensation. No matter what patterns follow certain emotions, just by bringing awareness to ones self, instead of judgement, can bring a profound feeling of clarity.

Here are some simple tips you can do to create a healthy relationship with pain and difficult emotions:

1. Over the course of the day, drop your attention into your body as often as you can.
2. Notice how pain shows up in the body and become open to the sensations. Notice any reoccurring patterns related to particular situations or relationships that are typically hard to deal with.
3. Within each painful experience, what is the most pleasing response, choice or action always taken?
4. Allow pain to show up and give it space to express itself in whatever way possible. Take deep breathes through these tough emotions, it helps with releasing them from the body.
5. Being open to intuitive guidance and insights is important. Insights can come at any time. For example, when your in the shower, the moment you wake up in the morning, or while driving in the car. Random thoughts will enter your mind that you never thought of before. Listen to them, your intuition is trying to tell you something.

**Another exercise related towards setting emotions free:

Start with breath work to calm the body…

1. Sit in a comfortable position, lengthen the spine and close the eyes.
2. Start by bringing awareness to your breath for a minute or two. If you find yourself diverting off onto other thoughts, just refocus your attention on your breath. It is okay if it takes a couple times to get settled.
3. Notice how the breath is. Is it restricted? Full? Short? Smooth? Choppy? Where is this resistance coming from?
4. Next, begin to extend your exhale until your lungs are empty. Feel how engaged your belly is, feel the floor on your pelvis bone, and any muscles that are contracted.
5. When the last drop of breath is taken on the exhale, pause and THEN let the air to flow in.
6. Take your time and repeat this ten times. This will help calm the mind and bring your attention inward.
7. Return to your natural way of breathing and notice how you feel. Has anything changed?
8. Now bring awareness to your whole body. Are there any parts of the body that are tense and uncomfortable?
9. Feel out every sensation, even if it is uncomfortable. Focus your breath on those parts of your body. Usually, the body will begin to relax when attention is focused on discomfort rather then ignoring it. Focus on this until the discomfort has subsided.
10. Now, think about a stressful event/situation/occurrence that has happened in your life and notice what sensations show up in the body.
11. Do any emotions arise? Where do you feel it? How is it showing up in the body?
12. Allow feelings to be as they are.
13. If you become hooked on the story, just redirect your awareness back to the body.
14. Has the feeling become softer? (If it has become more intense, focus on whether you are judging or rejecting the feelings and let it all go.
15. Did any insights come to you once you began to change your perspective?

I know these steps seem tedious and time consuming, but if you are lost on how to move on from difficult past experiences/relationships and need a new way of thinking, you might be surprised by how you feel afterwards 🙂

xo,

Mindful Harts.